Friday, June 09, 2006

Two and a Half Hours

I stare out the window
at sunny skies, ble and white
From behind my desk
While Lotus replicates the clock ticks
Taunting me
I WANT TO BE OUTSIDE!
Feel the blades of green
Between my toes
watch bunnies and bears
form in the sky
while I lay on the ground
sipping iced coffee
and daydreaming
two and a half hours until
the bliss of the weekend

The Great Rescue!

How cute is that?!

Okay- you may be wondering... "Why did she put up a picture of a bunny?" or "Why is there a bunny in a Dell box?" or "Why is there a bunny sitting on an afghan?" All these will be answered in the following story.

Yesterday when I arrived home from work I discovered a Caitlin King in my driveway. We went into my backyard to sit and talk and we saw a baby bunny in the middle of my backyard. This is not uncommon in Verona- they roam free and they certainly understand the command "Be fruitful and multiply" Cait decided to go over and see the bunny (it is very cute after all!) But as she approached it did not move- which is VERY uncommon, even in our backyard where bunnies have taken over. So, we both got close to see what the deal was and the bunny proceeded to drag himself across the lawn by his front legs- his hind legs were immobile! It was so sad to watch but he/she showed so much strength in its attempts to escape the grasp of two young girls.

We were both rather concerned for the safety of this young one as there is a very NASTY cat next door and we do not have fences in our backyards (hence the abundance of bunnies and deer). I can live with nature taking its course with a runt but NOT with Lucifer over there (in reference to the cat in Cinderella, not the Dark Prince) making this bunny its midnight snack!

I went inside and asked my Dad what we should do and he confirmed my concern- he had found a dead baby bunny in the yard the other day! This one was not going to suffer the same way (stinking cat!). My Dad went inside and got a box (isn't it nice how he caters to our girly ways as we sat and cooed over this wee thing) and I grabbed an afghan (green to recreate its natural habitat, haha) and some lettuce, shredded carrots, and diced apples. There was no need for a full on cage as its hind legs were immobile and therefore s/he could not hop out.

At first s/he seemed terrified, s/he was shaking and staring up at us, but then he calmed down, it seems he is growing accustomed to her/his perfumed guardians. (I really need to figure out if it is a girl or a boy). When I woke up this morning I found him/her alive and well- with its entire feast eaten! I put some more food in the box and headed off to work.

If it dies now I will know it was of natural causes and not from some cat, and if it lives, well, I wanted a pet anyway, and this will be less expensive than buying a dog.

I have decided that if it is a girl I will name it Hope, and if it is a boy, Lucky (only because Hope is a little too feminine for a boy).

Monday, June 05, 2006

Feeling old...

It's funny what can make you feel older- its hard to believe that I am able to decide our country's president, go to war, or- the subject of this blog, serve on a jury- me, who plans to make her living teaching toddlers everyday, running around singing songs like "Do the Dragon" and fingerpainting. I am the biggest kid inside and I have to go and act like an adult. I know I can do it- I've seen me do it before, but really, they want me making a decision that can seriously effect someone else's life. When did I become an adult? Apparently somewhere between youth band trips, research papers, and yearbook meetings I missed that transition.

Right now I am just praying that I will have an open mind, an unbiased opinion, and fair judgement, and okay, I am also hoping it will be a cool trial- let's be honest I don't want to trade my $11/hour for $5/day for nothing. (I'm not being selfish I promise- I am thinking about tuition bills) Though somehow I don't anticipate real-life living up to the fabulous closing arguments of Sam Watterson on Law and Order- we shall see.

I also realized that this is certainly going to test my will power to keep things to myself- I am not allowed to talk about the trial to anyone... do you think talking to your pastor counts? Because if I am allowed to talk to Carole about it I will be okay :)

As much as I joke about it I do recognize that this is actually a huge responsibility (hence the making me feel older). I am going to be a part of the Essex County Judicial system. This should be interesting...

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Reflections...

Sometimes when you reflect back on a time in your life you are excited about how much you have grown and changed- that is not the case today. Though I feel that this year has been good for me and I have learned a lot about myself, I can't help feeling sad too.

I am looking back on friendships that have fallen through the cracks and I so many what ifs pop into my had. Did I not make enough effort, did I not show enough love, was I too selfish, self-centered, and horrible? Did we just grow apart or did do something? And even with all of that did I throw in the towel too early rather than fighting for it.

I know that we all grow and change and friendships change too but I can't help feeling like I am to blame.

How do you know if the things that have changed in you are for better or for worse? I feel as if I have grown in a good way but if that is the case why do so many people see it otherwise? I feel like I am a twelve year old girl again... funny how every time you think you have figured yourself out reality comes and slaps you in the face again.

I am ever a work in progress...

On a lighter note- the concert was beyond amazing! I had so much fun with my friends and the bands were ALL great (even opening acts which was a shocker to me!).
I will get pics up as soon as I get a chance!

Friday, May 26, 2006

So Much Excitement!

It is certainly a BEAUTIFUL day! There are several reasons why this day is so fabulous:
1. I AM GOING TO SEE RASCAL FLATTS TONIGHT!!! 2. Matt is coming to visit for the weekend! :)

3. Its payday.
Oh what a fabulous day...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Generations

I was cleaning the bathroom yesterday and I am a person who needs background noise while cleaning anything. As I flipped through my CD binder I came across this CD which I hadn't listened to in awhile and popped it in. As I listened to her song, Generations, I really started thinking (that's right- I can have serious revelations while scrubbing a shower with a toothbrush). In the past when I heard this song I automatically thought about th generational sins that had come before me, I would always place blame on others for the things that faced me today. However, something about this time was different, maybe it was the soap scum and Magic Eraser that humbled me, I started reflecting on myself and thinking about how my decisions and actions would affect my children, and their children, and so on...

Imagine that everything you do can be a cure or a blessing on your great-grandchildren... man, what an impact... my little things (getting angry at that guy that cuts me off on the parkway, talking about that girl with the too short shorts, etc) are all affecting the future, their struggles will be that much bigger because I lost sight of His will. That is huge.

Here's the lyrics for you if haven't heard the song before...

I can taste the fruit of Eve. I'm aware of sickness death and disease. The resultsof her choices were vast. Eve was the firstbut she wasn't the last. If I were honestwith myself, had I been standing at thattree, my mouth and my hands would be coveredwith fruit. Things I shouldn't knowand things I shouldn't see
CHORUS: Remind me of this with every decision.Generations will reap what I sow. Ican pass on a curse or a blessingto those I will never know.
She taught us to fear the serpent. I'mlearning to fear myself and all of thethings I am capable of in my search foracceptance, wisdom and wealth. To saythe devil made me do it is a cop-outand a lie. The devil can't make me doanything when I'm calling on Jesus Christ
CHORUS
To my great-great-great-granddaughter,live in peace. To my great-great-great-grandson,live in peace. To my great-great-great granddaughter,live in peace. To my great-great-great-grandson,live in peace, live in peace.
CHORUS
Eve was the first but she wasn't the last.